They’re diagnosed with early onset hearing loss and worry that they’ll lose their jobs if they say anything. On the record, fitness classes have been too loud since 1997! Julia Belluz at Vox compiled an astounding report which quotes exercise instructors, speaking anonymously, confessing that some days, their ears hurt more than their muscles. But for the rest of you poor souls, there is the Evidence. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have a childhood best friend Natalie. And judgmental! I don’t want anyone to think I value my ears more than they value theirs! I want to tell them, I only take up the earplugs because my childhood best friend, Natalie, studied audiology and frightened me weekly about the risks of hearing degradation. The accessories of self-protection telegraph that I’m hyper-cautious and precious. Being a safety nerd is already embarrassing. At one dance studio, the earplugs were neon and glowed in the studio’s black-light, peeping out from my hair like dorky rave spores. Squishing around with earplugs in your ears feels like you’re both underwater and also growing marshmallows out of your head. I’m about to feel the sound barrier break before me.Īnd I always seem to be the only person who takes the free earplugs! I don’t want to take them. I know they’ve set up our fake bicycles directly inside a stadium-grade speaker. If an exercise studio thinks I might want earplugs, I know I’m moments away from walking my ears into the internal hub of an airplane engine. Hair ties (thoughtful) and earplugs (disaster). Photo-Illustration: by Stevie Remsberg source images Gettyīy the sign-in desk at cushy fitness studios, I often see jars of two complementary items.

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